Lucky

This is one of those moments when I really have so much to do and shouldn't be blogging but, it is what it is. I just needed to share a few thoughts I've been having lately. 

This semester has been hands down the hardest time I have ever experienced in my life. Not even just with school but with life in general. I have never felt so overwhelmed, so stressed, so incapable, and pretty much anything else bad. I've been such a train wreck lately and my emotions are off the charts. I'm seriously surprised people don't hate me. Or maybe they do.. Haha

A few days ago, I was having my weekly breakdown (I allow myself one breakdown a week. Yeah, it's just that hard.. Maybe I'm just that pathetic?) and my AMAZING dad talked me through this one. 

I told him how I felt like I was drowning and I wasn't going to make it until the end of the semester. I told him I wanted to quit and just be done with school. I was seriously on the verge of hysteria, you know, sobbing so hard you can't breathe and then start hiccuping. 

He told me to relax for a second.

Then, he reminded me how lucky I am. 

At first, I just stared at him... (and secretly wanted to smack him...) I wanted to yell at him, "Are you freaking kidding me!? I'm taking one of the hardest classes in the western half of the nation, studying 30+ hours a week, working, and running for the university! I barely have time to shower! And you think I'm lucky!?!?"

This semester has really brought out the drama in me. 

He proceeded to tell me that I am even lucky to be going to school, he reminded me that even if I don't do well my parents won't love me any less, my Heavenly Father won't love me any less, and that I'm still pretty darn great. 

Then, it hit me. Like a brick to the face.

I AM so lucky.

I have a home to come to every night with a warm bed to sleep in, and even though my classes suck I'm so blessed to even be going to school. I have a healthy body and a loving family. I have a knowledge of the gospel and I get to see it bless my life everyday.

My mom's cousin just lost her 17 month old little boy in a tragic accident a few days ago and it would have been the most heartbreaking thing ever if I didn't know that he is with our Heavenly Father, a perfect person with his job here on earth done. I'm so grateful and lucky to know that. 

So even though I don't get as much sleep as I need, I cry pretty much on the daily, I'm at school for 12 hours a day, and my life seems so hard right now....

I have the best team in the whole world backing me up.

And yeah, I'm pretty darn lucky. 

Anatomy

First day of school! First day of school!

It has finally started! Thank heavens. 

Monday was the first day and I don't think I've ever been so excited for school to start. Now I'll actually have something to do with my day! 

The only bummer is.. I go from having basically all the free time in the world to none whatsoever.

I'm taking some pretty kick-butt classes. Okay, some way kick-butt classes.

Anatomy at UVU won't get me down! It's part insanity and part pride that made me take it. 

I am going to stick it to this class and show it who's boss!!

 I sure as heck won't have a social life or anything until Christmas but I'll make due.

Here's to a rockin' new semester and praying I make it out alive!

A Half

This past Saturday I ran the Hobble Creek Half Marathon. It is the 2nd one I've ran and it was awesome!

Yes, I really mean it. 13.1 miles of awesome!

The course was in a beautiful canyon and the scenery was stunning! That downhill the whole way was way sweet too. I felt so good the whole time which translated into getting a 30 minute PR!

It made getting up at 4 in the morning, starving, and freezing my butt off the whole time way worth it :)

I Love My Sister

Last Monday my sister mentioned to me that we should go to Lagoon. I said it would be fun not thinking it would really happen and then on Tuesday morning we found ourselves driving up there! 

*People! Tuesday is the day to go to Lagoon! Hardly anybody was there! The most we had to wait for a ride was like 7 minutes. It was awesome.*

Now for a bunch of pictures of me and Emerson. (They all basically look the same too cause nobody would take a picture for us!)

 Thanks Dad for the tickets!!

Obviously we were stoked. 

The first roller coaster of the day. 

Side note: It was the rickety old white one. I am still surprised we made it out alive. 

To be honest, I remember the Bat being waaaayyyy cooler.

Fake laughs are always awesome.

The swings are definitely a fav.

Look out boys! This little cutie is headed into the 8th grade! She is single and nowhere near ready to mingle so back off :)

Before Rattlesnake Rapids....

And after....

This picture doesn't quite do it justice considering we were soaked to the bone!

After a while you just get tired of walking ya know?

We finished off the day with yummy treats!

By the way.. What ever happened to Icees?! I enjoyed every single sip of that blessed 32 ounces. It was heaven after walking around all day in a million degrees. 

I love my sissy :)

Thanks Emer for a great day! 

Motherhood

Don't let the title of this post fool you.. I am nowhere near motherhood! 

I just have a few thoughts on it...

This weekend I babysat for my dad's friend. He has 2 little girls and I got to watch them overnight. 

Oh my gosh I have never been so exhausted. Ever! 

That's probably a little dramatic but really. All they wanted to do was go, go, go! I'm not that old so I knew they were playing pretty hard. 

Another thing: I don't think my patience has ever been so tested as it was in those 23 hours. 

What is so sad to me is that I thought I loved kids! I was so excited to have lots of my own and be the fun and creative mom that is always doing something crafty and cool. But, all I really wanted to do was sit down and take a nap.

I asked my mom what my problem was and she said it is a lot easier to love your own kids. 

Makes sense to me. I definitely think I have some learning and maturing to do. Because I don't think McDonald's ice cream can solve all problems. 

Layla

London

Don't get me wrong, the girls were adorable and I had so much fun but I can tell you this right now.. I am not ready to be a mom. 

So, until I am, McDonald's ice cream can solve all problems :)

A Letter

A LETTER!!! A FREAKING LETTER!!!

Who knew I could be so excited about the mail??

To be honest, I actually got this last Wednesday but I just haven't felt like posting until now.

(And we are so close to getting another letter it just almost gets me giddy!)

Elder Pollard, bless him, forgot my address so he sent my letter to his house (this is no big, considering we live next door to each other...) and said I could just go get it.

Boy, did I. 

I waited all day for the mail and as soon as the mailman moved just far enough out of the way for me to get to the mailbox I snatched it right out of there! Out of their mailbox! Such bad manners.. I was actually horrified for a little, but I got over that pretty fast.

This is the face of pure happiness, kids.

This is about to get pretty personal but it's my blog, so I can! 

It's been rough! I didn't realize how much would remind me of him and how often I would cry! 

Sheesh. But thank heavens we are getting over that.. My nose couldn't handle anymore wiping. 

I gave myself a week to get all the crying out and this second week has been so much better. Already from his email to his family and from my own letter I can tell he has grown leaps and bounds. I can't tell you how happy that makes me! 

Now, I'm just excited to get letters and to hear how he is doing and what is going on! 

Yay for missionaries! 

Just for the record, a lot of my posts have been about Josh lately. Haha. I promise it won't be that way forever. Just a few good and important moments. 

Have a great Monday!

Tidbits

Here is a little of what I've been up to as of late!

I went to the Joshua Radin concert up at the Depot with my cousin and her cute roomies. 

The best part was after buying our t-shirts (our expensive t-shirts at that) we got special wristbands to meet him!! Woo!

He was such a cool guy and definitely sounded better live than on the cd. I love when that happens!

And, he said my name was cool! Score one for Montana!

Continuing on...

Lately, I've been having a few pool days...

Braiding some hair...

Waiting to see the freaking awesome Batman!!...

Waiting some more for the freaking awesome Batman...

(4 hours to be exact)

Finally seeing the freaking awesome Batman!!

And most importantly...

Sending a missionary off!!!!

These are a few pictures from his farewell on Sunday. He did uhhhmaazing! 

Like really. Best one ever.

Fake laughs are always nice, right?

Hey, like his tie? I know, I gave it to him :)

On Monday, I got to hike Ensign's Peak with him and his family. 

I've lived in Utah my whole life and never done this. It was pretty neat stuff.

The beautiful view

:)

Then, on Tuesday morning Josh took me to breakfast at Mimi's.

Our hot chocolates. Can I get a freakin' amen??!

After, we took a walk down by Utah Lake. Then, we took some pictures obvi.

Hi retarded hands...

It was a good morning.

Then, came the really fun part of saying goodbye... Well freak, I came to the conclusion that I suck at goodbyes. It was hard. Like really hard. 

Saying goodbye to your best friend for 2 whole years is no small feat, my friends. It was rough.

BUT, I know that this is exactly where he is supposed to be. I wouldn't have it any other way and words cannot express how proud I am of him! This is so much harder for him than it is for me but I know with my whole heart he is going to be so blessed.

It is so Josh's personality to get to the MTC and then to LA and work his butt off. I am so excited for him!

Now, let the countdown begin!